Each Team's 2023-24 Grade

 

     As we put a bow on the 2023-24 season, let's give each team a letter grade. These grades are based on a combination of preseason expectations and actual performance. I'm more of a bell-curve grader, meaning a "C" is considered average. But the actual distribution can be found below:

A- 7

B- 5

C- 12

D- 5

F- 3

+'s and -'s are used but for the list above we are grouping altogether. 

Arizona Cardinals: C

The team entered the year with low expectations in a transition year with a new GM and new head coach and it's starting QB still recovering from an ACL tear until mid-season. But it found some positive momentum late in the season once they got Kyler Murray back from the aforementioned injury. They should be better next year.

Atlanta Falcons: D-

Some thought they may be able to push for the division title but they never solved their QB situation and never properly utilized their other offensive weapons. That resulted in a losing record and the firing of head coach Arthur Smith.

Baltimore Ravens: A-

It can't be an A, given the team had a complete dud in it's final game which caused their season to end just short of the Super Bowl. But they still finished with the best record in football and were the league's most complete and dominant team for the majority of the season.

Buffalo Bills: B

After a slow start, they did really well to rally down the stretch and make the playoffs. But to have another season end in the Divisional Round and at the hands of the Chiefs on their home turf is a disappointment for a team with a "Super Bowl or bust" mentality. 

Carolina Panthers: F

Absolute mess of a season, finishing as the worst team in football, firing their coach mid season, and their owner spilling drinks on opposing fans. To make matters worse, this team doesn't even have its first round pick (which would have been #1 overall) because it traded it away to Chicago last season to trade up for rookie QB Bryce Young.

Chicago Bears: C+

Dug itself a hole early that ultimately it could not get out of, but they did finish much stronger than they started and have two high first round picks, including the #1 overall pick.

Cincinnati Bengals: B-

The fact that they still finished with a winning record despite a bad start and losing Joe Burrow mid season is a victory in itself and speaks to the talent of the team. They'll have Super Bowl aspirations next year with Burrow back healthy.

Cleveland Browns: B+

To go through as many injuries as they did, especially to quarterbacks, and still win 11 games and make playoffs is an incredible feat and testament to how good the defense and coaching is. Unfortunately they laid an egg once they got their though.

Dallas Cowboys: C-

Because of it's perennial high expectations, this team was always going to be judged by how it's season ended. Unfortunately for them, it was another epic playoff collapse to a team they should have beaten.

Denver Broncos: C-

They had a nice little win streak mid season to play themselves back into the mix, but finished with a losing record and no playoffs. QB Russell Wilson has been a massive disappointment after the team paid a premium for him acquiring him from Seattle and signing him to an extremely lucrative contract and will likely get released or traded.

Detroit Lions: A

The way it ended will haunt them for awhile, but that shouldn't take away from the fact that this was their best season in most of our lifetimes and that things are moving in the right direction.

Green Bay Packers: A-

Uncertainty loomed for them after parting ways with Aaron Rodgers but the second half of the season proved that they're in good hands with Jordan Love. Beat the brakes off of the 2nd best team in the conference in the playoffs (Dallas) and nearly took out San Fran on the road. 

Houston Texans: A

Maybe the brightest future of any team on the list. CJ Stroud had one of the best rookie seasons we have ever seen from a QB, and Linebacker Will Anderson won defensive rookie of the year as well, and first year coach DeMeco Ryans led this team to the second round of the playoffs. They will only get better with experience.

Indianapolis Colts: B-

The season could have unraveled on them early when rookie QB and 4th overall pick Anthony Richardson suffered a season ending injury in mid October and all-pro running back Jonathan Taylor missing the first 5 weeks, but first year head coach Shane Steichen found a way to keep the team afloat until the final week.

Jacksonville Jaguars: D

 Absolute choke down the stretch from a team that had Super Bowl aspirations to lose 5 of it's final 6 games and miss the playoffs altogether. The reason it's not an F is because I believe Trevor Lawrence was never truly healthy but continually tried playing through pain all year long. They could have a bounce back 2024-25 season with him healthy.

Kansas City Chiefs: A+

Even in a down year, found a way to tap into their Championship DNA and win the games when it mattered most and became the league's first repeat champions since the '05 Patriots.

Las Vegas Raiders: C+

The team started poorly and fired Josh McDaniels midseason, but then played significantly better when Antonio Pierce took over as the interim head coach. Will be interesting to see how the team performs with Pierce leading the way for a full season.

Los Angeles Chargers: F

Justin Herbert is too talented of a QB for the team to lose this many games, which resulted in Brandon Staley being fired mid-season. With Jim Harbaugh leaving Michigan after winning a National Title to return to the NFL and coach LA, this is an interesting team to follow next season.

Los Angeles Rams: B+

Many people thought the competitive window was closing for them with the aging core, but the team still made the playoffs and took the Lions to the wire on the road. 

Miami Dolphins: C+

A tough one to grade because they had a red hot start to the season before floundering down the stretch. Some of that was injuries piling up, but the questions remain if the Dolphins have the toughness to compete with the league's elite teams.

Minnesota Vikings: C

Not giving them a failing grade because they had horrendous luck with injuries, specifically to Kirk Cousins and Justin Jefferson. It wasn't the season they hoped for but no team could have gone far with the amount of significant injuries Minnesota suffered.

New England Patriots: F

Things have been slowly declining there since Tom Brady's departure and this was the rock bottom year. It's time for the organization to start fresh with a new coaching staff, QB, and roster changes.

New Orleans Saints: C+

Entered the season as the favorites to win the NFC South but ultimately couldn't dethrone Tampa. But still finished with a winning record and were in the playoff race until the final week.

New York Giants: C-

Another lenient grade due to injuries but couldn't build off of last year's surprise playoff appearance. Getting healthy again along with a high draft pick should do them some good.

New York Jets: C-

The season was over before it barely started when Aaron Rodgers tore his Achilles on just his 4th ever snap as a New York Jet. The team managed to hang around for half a season but could never overcome the poor QB play and fell out of the race in the second half.

 Philadelphia Eagles: D-

  I won't give an F to a playoff/double digit win team, but this team collapsed so badly that it has to be close. It remains a mystery how a team that started 10-1 fell off a cliff down the stretch and they'll spend the offseason reflecting on what happened and how to fix moving forward.

Pittsburgh Steelers: C

Found a way to make the playoffs despite rotating through a few different QBs but that felt like their ceiling and they never really felt like a threat to go any further.

San Francisco 49ers: A

Being so close will sting for awhile but still won the NFC and reached the big game and nearly won it.

Seattle Seahawks: C+

Similar to the Giants, many thought they would build off of last year's surprise trip to the playoffs, but the team fell just short of getting back there.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: A-

Much doubt was cast on this group with many experts predicting them to be a bottom 5 team, but the Bucs proved that even without Tom Brady they still run the division and can be an annual playoff team. Baker Mayfield and Tampa proved to be a good marriage for both sides and gives reason for optimism moving forward.

Tennessee Titans: D

Many thought this would be a bounce back year for them with key players healthy again and the expectation was they would be a top 2 team in the AFC South, but the Titans finished last in their division and fired their head coach and will probably begin a rebuild this offseason.

Washington Commanders: D+

They gave up halfway through the season and moved talented players right before the trade deadline to receive draft capital but at least they were self-aware of their flaws and positioned themselves better for the future while other bad teams remained in denial and kept trying to compete with what they had.

Ranking Team Names

 

     

     Those who listen to the New Heights podcast are aware that the Kelce brothers are currently conducting a "Best Team Name" bracket challenge, where listeners can vote for their favorites and submit a bracket. It had me inspired to reflect on and rank them as well. I have always found the etymology of a team name interesting and how it relates to the city the team represents. So here is an honest and unbiased personal ranking of each NFL team name from 32 to 1.

Tier 1: Bad

#32. Houston Texans

Ranking it dead last for redundancy and lack of creativity. We already know they are Texans due to the fact that they are in Houston. For what it's worth I think the logo and color scheme are awesome, just not the name.

#31. Cleveland Browns

It's named after a former owner, which comes off as narcissistic, and creates further confusion that the team is "Browns" yet the helmets are Orange. Arguably the most bland team name/logo combinations in the league.

Tier 2: Fine, but generic

#30. Arizona Cardinals

Fun fact, they used to be in St. Louis, where there was (and still is) and baseball team on the same name. Rather than change their name, the team moved out west. There are 5 teams named after birds and to me this is the weakest.

#29. Atlanta Falcons
It's fine I guess, it's a cool bird of prey but it's generic and the name has no connection to the city and was chosen from a "name-the-team" contest for fans to write and submit essays with their preference. The Falcon in the shape of an "F" is a cool logo though.

#28. Carolina Panthers
There's 4 teams named after big cats and to me this is the weakest, largely because there is an NHL team in Florida with the same name, which makes much more sense than Carolina Panthers. The owner named the team and just wanted something mean and ferocious.

#27. Jacksonville Jaguars
Another "name-the-team" fan contest winner. There are no Jaguars roaming around Jacksonville, but it's a cooler cat than a Panther and it has the alliteration going for it. Also at the time the oldest living Jaguar in the US resided at the Jacksonville zoo.

#26. Detroit Lions
Same as 28 and 27 but more iconic and they cite the parallel of wanting the team to be "Kings of the NFL" since the Lion is known as the king of the jungle. They also went with Lions to compliment the Tigers, Detroit's baseball team.

#25. Chicago Bears
Iconic and historic but not a unique or creative name and bears can be found in many different parts of the country. Like Detroit, another team name rooted from it's local baseball affiliate, the Chicago Cubs. But referring to them as "Da Bears" has become a staple.

Tier 3: Mid

#24. Kansas City Chiefs
There's so many collegiate and pro teams that also use the Native American themed nicknames like Seminoles, Blackhawks, Braves as well as teams that were forced to change their names such as Redskins and Indians.

#23. Tennessee Titans

Outside of the Parthenon replica, there's really not much connecting Tennessee and Ancient Greece. With the team based in Nashville, this seems like a missed opportunity to find a name better suited to its country and honky-tonk vibes. 

#22. Los Angeles Rams
It's not bad, which is why they kept it when moving from St. Louis to Los Angeles, but feels like it was better suited for a mountain based team like Denver.

#21. New York Jets

The aviation theme is cool but doesn't have much to do with the city, other than the fact that the team originally played in a stadium next to LaGuardia Airport. But at least the New York teams have this cool rhyming combination of Jets, Mets, & Nets.

#20. Los Angeles Chargers

Despite the logo and the nickname "Bolts" the team name actually has nothing to do with lightning strikes or electricity. According to Wikipedia, the GM at the time picked the name because ""I liked it because they were yelling 'charge' and sounding the bugle at Dodgers Stadium and at USC games." Still, it gets points for its uniqueness.

#19. Indianapolis Colts

This would rank way higher if the team was never moved from Baltimore, as this was a nod to breeding thoroughbreds and the Preakness Stakes, one of the 3 horse races that are a part of the Triple Crown along with the Kentucky Derby and Belmont Stakes. But the relocation makes this name feel out of place.

Tier 4: Good

#18. Washington Commanders

It gets a lot of unnecessary hate from recency bias of being the newest name change, but it leans into the cities presidential theme of Commander In Chief, as well as George Washington himself, whom the city is named after, being the commander of the Continental Army. 

#17. Cincinnati Bengals

By far the best of the Big Cat nicknames, largely because they took the extra step of not just naming themselves "Tigers" but differentiating themselves with a specific and cool-sounding species. And it served as the basis for the cool orange and black striped helmets. The only knock is the same as the other Big Cats, there are no tigers running rampant around Cincinnati. 

#16. New York Giants

Some think it's bad because they incorrectly think it is meant to be another mythological based name like "Titans", and others cite the baseball team of the same name from San Francisco which came much earlier. But "Giants" refers to New York's massive skyscrapers and buildings that tower over the city. Thus an appropriate name for a team from the nation's largest and busiest city.

#15. Dallas Cowboys

Hate on them all you want but it's a perfect, region-specific name for a Texas team and their old timey atmosphere of cattle, ranchers, saloons, tumbleweeds, standoffs, rodeos, lassos, and the wild wild west. And it's super iconic.

#14. Denver Broncos

This one also comes from a "name-the-team" fan contest, but in this case the name does typify the West and is a good a fit for a Colorado based team. Also a stronger horse name than "Colt" as Broncos are tough and fast.  

#13. Las Vegas Raiders

This one is totally personal preference and has no connection to Las Vegas (or its former location of Oakland) but just a cool, bad-ass name for a football team.

Tier V: Top Notch

#12. Baltimore Ravens

It's actually a nod to Edgar Allen Poe's most famous tale, which was authored in Baltimore where Poe resided. 

#11. Buffalo Bills

They are actually names after the famous Western frontiersman "Buffalo Bill" who hunted Bison, which shouldn't work for an Eastern city. But it connects the animal to the city name and "Buffalo Bills" just rolls off the tongue so nicely. 

#10. Seattle Seahawks

Another public naming contest winner but this one just fit so well. Bird of prey, alliteration, and a name and color scheme that embodied the Pacific Northwest. And Seahawk is another name for "Osprey", which are common to Seattle.

#9 Miami Dolphins

An absolute perfect mascot and color scheme for a tropical, oceanfront city with beaches, boating, and warm weather year round. 

Tier VI: Any of these could be #1

#8 Tampa Bay Buccaneers

A reference to the legendary (and maybe fictional?) Spanish pirate Jose Gaspar, who often raided cities along the Gulf of Mexico, as well as Gasparilla, Tampa's pirate parade version of Mardi Gras. Tampa is most definitely a pirate town, and "Buccaneer" is a stronger swashbuckling scallywag nickname than "Raider", especially for a city actually on the coast. And the in-stadium Pirate ship is bad-ass.

#7 New England Patriots

Whether it was the Massachusetts Bay Colony, or Paul Revere, or Sam Adams, or dumping tea into the harbor to protest taxation without representation, the name perfectly embodies the spirit of the city and it's prominent roles in America's origins and winning its independence from Britain.

#6 New Orleans Saints

A nod to "When the Saints Go Marching In", the city's unofficial theme song written by New Orleans native Louie Armstrong, as well as the largely Catholic area (all the counties are named after Saints) and the team being born on All Saints Day. The name perfectly unites the city's Jazz influence and most recognizable tune with its religious roots. The "Fleur-De-Lis" symbol also is a good nod to the city's French roots.

#5 Philadelphia Eagles

The Bald Eagle symbolizes the United States and while it may not be the capital, Philadelphia played a pivotal role in US History as the signing place of the Declaration of Independence, home to the Liberty Bell, and a regular meeting place for the Founding Fathers who discussed, debated, and ultimately helped form a new country.

#4 San Francisco 49ers

A historical nod to the California Gold Rush of 1849 and the "Miner Miner 49ers", which also explains the gold helmets. The teams primary colors, Gold and Red, are also a nod to their most recognizable landmark, the Golden Gate Bridge, and the name was also a metaphor as to how to organization was hoping to strike gold of its own, which it did by winning 5 Super Bowls.

#3 Minnesota Vikings

The name has good regional ties as it pays homage to Scandinavians who migrated to Minnesota and in Norse mythology Vikings were some of the toughest warriors that ever walked the earth. The horned helmets are like those actually worn by the warriors and Minnesota's icy climate is also like that of what the Scandinavians sailed in, and the blowhorn heard during games is a fun touch as well.

#2 Green Bay Packers

Named after the Acme Meat Packing Company, who originally sponsored the team, and has stood the test of the time as one of the earliest roots of professional football. There's something hard working and honest about it, and it's a great fit for the only NFL team that is owned by the fans and people of Green Bay. 

#1 Pittsburgh Steelers

It's cool and bad-ass sounding but also a great representation how liked Pittsburgh was to steel manufacturing. The team identity also typifies the toughness and resiliency of the hard working class of Western Pennsylvania, priding themselves on hard-nosed defense, running the football, and fighting through the cold and often ugly weather.